Years ago, eldest-child used to be travel sick. If we were in the car for more than 15 minutes, he'd explode like Niagra Falls. When he's sat in the back of the car, he sits in the middle using the lap strap, so the other two smaller people can use booster seats and proper seatbelts.

One time, he threw up 30 seconds from home. He threw up with such force that the torrent gushed straight between the two front chairs and covered the gearstick. I had to negotiate the last two snail-pace corners to my house stuck in 4th gear.

You could tell when he was going to throw up, because he used to go quiet for a couple of minutes beforehand.

The other two were fine. Not even a trace of travel sickness.

So as we decided to go to Ikea, a 40 minute drive away, we gave eldest-child a travel sickness pill to prevent the inevitable spewing. He ate it, and we hoped all would be well.

35 minutes into our 40 minute journey, and he was still fine. This was a GREAT day! He was chatting away, not spewing, and he showed no signs being ill.

As we approached the car park, I slowed down, pulled in and drove around for a bit to try to find a space. As I was searching it occured to me that, although middle-child was chatty, the other two were noticably quiet.

Suddenly, eldest-child let out an horrific noise. My first thought was that the travel sickness pills must have only stopped him REALISING he was feeling sick, not stopped him BEING sick, and it must have taken him by surprise. But I was wrong.

I stopped the car quickly, turned around to give help, and saw that he hadn't been sick at all. No, that would be too simple. The other two had, absolutely simultaneously, been sick on him, one from either side. He just looked at me, his arms, hands, lap ALL completely covered, and did a massive frown.

I still hadn't found a parking space yet, so he had to sit in the car, covered in two other peoples sick, while I drove around for another 10 minutes.

Five years on, and he only just sees the funny side of it.

"Put your money where your mouth is." That is one strange phrase.

When you make a pretend bet, people say that.

My mouth is on my face, and you want me to put money there too? What, IN my mouth, or just near to where it is? Because if I put it IN my mouth, I won't be able to talk. Maybe that's it! Maybe what they're actually saying is "You're talking a load of rubbish and your bet is impossible, so stuff your mouth with money so I don't have to listen to you talk."

But then, why money? Why not tissues, or something that would muffle the voice better?

Why do people persevere at things that they don't enjoy?

"I don't like Guinness."

"I didn't like it at first either, but you get used to it."

WHY?!? Why would you WANT to get used it? It's something that genuinely doesn't taste nice and costs you money. Move on! There are literally hundreds of other drinks to try, some of which I can pretty much guarantee you WILL initially like a lot more.

Rather than dedicating your time to this stupid cause, committing yourself to acquiring a liking of something that you initially didn't enjoy, why not just move on and drink something else? Why would you put yourself and your poor tastebuds through the initiation?

At the end of "getting used to it" you still don't actually "like" it. You're just so used to it, you've just made it "bearable."

Bonkers.

(Legally I'm probably not allowed to say which big UK postal service is planning on banning deliveries of Christmas cards. But please read on.)

We are told that the number of Christmas cards that are being sent increases each year. Due to the rise and the increased mail that postal workers have to deal with, there are always substantial delays to all postal deliveries in December.

Plans are being introduced over the next couple of years to ensure that normal post still arrives promptly, by banning Christmas cards to remove this annual surplus.

Anything posted in a colourful, or noticably Christmas themed envelope can be removed from the system if spotted, to allow normal post a quicker journey. They will also have the power to open items that they suspect are Christmas related should we chose to disguise them in brown envelopes, for example.

Sending Christmas cards is a tradition that we cannot let be abolished.

So please, SAY NO TO ANY PROPOSED BAN ON SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS!

Facebook rocks!

Decided to join twitter, after seeing yet another facebook friend convert to it.

All I use facebook for really is to update my status, so twitter is ideal for lazy guy like me.

To open an account, you have to set up a unique twitter suffix. I tried twitter.com/craig but that was already in use. So I tried /CraigA, but some other Craig had obviously got there a'fore me. My thinking was that there must be quite a few Craigs on there already.

So I became AnotherCraig

After setting up my account, I realised that I couldn't remember who it was that also had accounts on there.